Friday, November 26, 2010

Shabbat Shalom status post Thanksgiving 2010

Things have been a little extra harried around here the last few days in a joyful way.   I love Thanksgiving.  I love that last year we learned that it probably came about because the Puritans who landed and helped found our country were most likely actually celebrating Sukkot or Feast of Tabernacles.

I love that my brother and his wife and children were able to come from out of state and share in the celebration of the American national holiday with the rest of us.  We did the whole traditional dinner, turkey and all the trimmings.  We went around the table and talked about what we were thankful for, and it was a very sweet time.

Before the cooking started though, or at least just after the bird went in the oven, I sought the Lord.  I haven't been feeling so great and was pretty run down, and I knew I would need some extra strength for the day.  And he responded immediately and conversationally. It was as if he was saying, "Come talk to me."  I turned to Psalms (Tehillim) and specifically 42.  It opens with the deer panting for water - just like we do for our Lord.  Humbly, I must say of late I have been blessed with this thirst and this hunger.  As was prayed at our last Shabbat service, we agreed in prayer to ask for increase in hunger, increase in desire for the things of Adonai, of scripture.  It blessed me to read this as I so readily identify right now.
At the end of the chapter there are verses that seemed to me as a warning, though they are not usually read that way.
"10b...taunts make me feel as if my bones were crushed, as they ask me all day long, 'Where is your God?'" 11 My soul, why are you so downcast? Why are you groaning inside me? Hope in God, since I will praise him again for being my Savior and God."
Some members of my family have questioned our decision to leave the protestant church and seek the Hebraic roots of our faith.  We were going to be spending time with family, but I honestly didn't know what to expect that day.  Sometimes that's good!  
The questions came about our "new church" - or do they call it that?  All went politely, warmly.  
I had spoken a few months ago with some family members, when questioned, about comments my children made regarding Christmas v. Channukah.  At the time our explanations regarding the pagan roots of Christmas were met with frowns, whining, pouts - that was from the adults.  
Our menorah is poised at the ready for next week's first lighting.  But as soon as the leftovers were put away, a direct request was made for Christmas music.  Ugh.  I always loved it, but this year it almost arrives with me feeling some disdain.
Then the request turned into a whine, and eventually a demand.  And then a discussion about when Jesus was actually born.  
So I guess the 'taunt' came in the form of the Christmas music.  (Such irony.)  While I certainly didn't feel as if my bones were crushed, I did feel the needling.  I heard the "where is your God?"  While all I really wish for is that their eyes would be opened to the things that we've seen and learned about being believers, I feel as if they are just waiting.  Waiting for us to move on to the next thing.
I hope we never do.
I've never felt like things are more right, more true, or more healthy.  I don't think that we have all the answers, but I definitely feel like we've found something more, something amazing.  And the only interest seems to be to make sure we haven't joined a cult.  That's where I feel the bone-crushing.  I only long for them to see the richness and the depth of meaning and sacredness and holiness that is right in front of us, and is yet unseen.
I can't wait to learn more.  I can't wait till they see.
My hope is in G-d and I will now praise him, my Saviour and my King.  And for now I will follow in his steps in celebrating the Festival of Lights, dig through all the layers of meaning, of re-dedication, and figure out what its all about as we go!

Monday, November 22, 2010

MPM for 11/22

Monday: Piccolini Alfredo with Sliced Smoked Turkey
Tuesday: Oven Baked Nachos
Wednesday: Hot Sour Soup with Chicken Vegetable Potstickers
Thursday: Chili and Hot Dogs (delaying the Turkey due to work schedules)
Friday: Turkey, dressing, gravy, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, buttered corn, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, and homemade yeast rolls
Saturday: leftovers!
Sunday: (by my dear son's request) Pizza Bomba

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Simple Woman's Daybook Nov. 21, 2010

I've followed a few other mom's blogs who've had a roll going on these little entries.  They are somewhat mundane but interesting all the same.  Here's the "Mess" I'm in today...

Outside my window... we're enjoying unusually warm temps and night has fallen, too early once again.  I struggle with the short days.  I enjoy warm cups to drink however, so its a trade off.

I am thinking... of how deeply I am engrafted into the flow of this river of life, this mayim chaim, and of how there is such a depth that I have never known before.  And I can't wait to get more.  And more.

I am grateful for... this relative quiet - it is really nice.  I hate that the baby is not feeling well, but I'm SO grateful that she is sleeping a lot today, cause Mama ain't feelin' so grand either.

From the learning rooms...  I am considering lesson planning for tomorrow, and how to do school without printouts.  I've just discovered my printer REQUIRES 2 black cartridges to operate.  Didn't even know it had 2 cartridges until I put the other new one in...  Hmm....  Regardless we will have a very light week this week due to Thanksgiving.  Planning a craft where everyone writes their "thankful" items on a leaf and tacks it to a paper tree.  We did that last year and left it up till the new year.

From the kitchen... take out today.  Thank you honey!  Mommy's been mostly absent from there today trying to get baby, et. al. "homeopathized" from this darn virus before holiday guests arrive.

I am wearing...  sweatshirt, t-shirt, jersey knit pants, and a bandana.  No socks because DH shampooed the carpets today, and they got soggy.  He worked hard today and is rewarding himself with a movie while we lay low.

I am creating... channukah decorations and thinking about making tallit bags for DH and a friend of ours.  I have been looking at for decor ideas.  This will be our first year to celebrate and we are very excited.

I am going... to the library in the morning to get DD's much anticipated book from the hold shelf.  And then to a friends to get trained on how to care for her small 'farm' while she leaves town for the week.

I am currently reading...
no books right now, highly unusual!  Sort of looking at a John Hagee book, but having trouble getting into it.  Voraciously gobbling up the parashot in the Complete Jewish Bible though.  Last weeks was so good - how we struggle just like Jacob did, with G*d, and how we need to lose to him so that we can ultimately win.  No?

I am hoping...  for some good sleep tonight, and for a healthy week, and for our pharmacy (that we drive courier for) to get us out on time this week.

I am hearing ... DS1 watching TV, DS2 clicking away at the mouse.

On my mind...
  waiting on the Lord on our housing "issues."  Believing that we are to have more property and that He will bless us with that.  Chickens, goats, garden.  Difficult in a subdivision...

Noticing that... nothing fell apart today, and I wasn't running around like crazy to prevent it.  How nice!  (Insert sigh here.)

Around the house... we are in limbo on a lot of mini-projects, but DH has a week off starting Thursday (YAY!) and they will get done at that point we hope!

One of my favorite things... is getting ready for the "holiday" season, which is nearly upon us.  This will be such a different year for us, as we are still discovering the biblical holidays.  They are such a gift.  Excited to experience Channukah for the first time. 

A Few Plans for the Rest of the Week:  My little brother coming in for Thanksgiving on Thursday with his family.  We will celebrate on Friday when my local SIL is off work, and have DH's niece join us as well.  DH wants to hit black Friday sales.  Oy vey.

Photo to share...

Ana "huggy dawgy awgy"

Thursday, November 11, 2010

getting started

"...fear leads us away from the work G*d wants to do in our heart"(
And it probably kept me from getting started here...

I think I've been getting the push to do this for several months, but I don't know where to start.  I know I want to talk about mostly just where I am right now.

I'm just an average Jill: an imperfect woman, an inconsistent wife, a sometimes-too-strict mom, an overwhelmed housekeeper, a home educator who probably doesn't capitalize on every opportunity, and a friend who doesn't call as often as she should.  And despite the fact I hope I never go to church again, most importantly, I'm a sinner, saved by incredible, humbling, overflowing grace.

I'm learning.  How to be a mom, even after 10 years of on the job training.  I'm learning.  More about history as I teach it to my kids, and it blows my mind how much I missed in a good public school.  I'm learning.  How to be a much better wife in this decade of marriage than the first one, now that we're getting ready to enter the next.

I'm learning how to follow hard after my Salvation.  I found out he's Jewish.  When you ignore what the church has been shoving down your throat, and read the scripture, wow.  The Jewishness of Jesus (Yeshua in Hebrew) is nearly sanitized right off him. 
But when you strip all that away.  Wow.  Amazing.  There is so much richness and depth.  Like going from black and white tube TV to 1080p digital.  There are holidays - holy days - that are ignored by those who think they believe in the Bible.  They are commanded to be celebrated, and they are ignored.  Their own celebrations fit them better.  Actually they fit better what the pagans didn't want to give up, and so that they could claim them on their list of "souls" saved, they just added a little Jesus to them and compromised with the pagans. 
That is only the surface, only a drop of what I've come to understand.
I'm learning how to celebrate in ways that are deeply true and right and freeing.  How to be what my friend called a 'newbie jewbie.'
I'm learning what it really means to follow, to honor, to obey , as an outpouring of love for Him.  Not out of fear.  Not out of obligation, or strict adherence to what any man has prescribed.  Out of love, and out of relationship.
But only Yeshua, and what his book teaches us. 
So here is a little peek into my journey.  Some things great, some things not-so-much.  A journey that has taken turns never imagined, and gone to places infinitely fulfilling, and sometimes surprisingly painful.
I am so far from perfect.  I don't wish to offend, but only to share. So please extend mercy.  Just read it all through.
I'll try not to get too Messi...